The story of BJ and I's relationship isn't your typical fairytale. It's filled with awkward moments, friend-zones, divine timing, and the realization that we've been a perfect match from the start. Sometimes it hits me square in the face, I married my friend BJ, with a mixture of weirdness and disbelief. It was the love I never saw coming, yet I can't imagine my life without him.
How We Met
My sophomore year of college, I decided to switch my major to Music Education. I walked into my first day of choir not knowing anyone. As soon as I sat down, a very attractive boy smiled and waved excitedly at me from across the room. I nervously smiled and waved back in what I hoped was a flirtatious way (I'm sure it was not). His face quickly turned to one of confusion, and then he tried to suppress laughter. I didn't know what was happening until I heard snickering behind me. I realized the BJ was waving at his friend sitting behind me and I had just assumed he was waving at me… a total stranger.
4 Months Later
I finally got over my embarrassment of our first encounter and tried to talk to BJ again. I should point out, we had several classes together and in all this time, I had been sitting next to him in class avoiding having to talk to him. It was Music History class and a 12 page report was due in 3 days and I realized BJ and I were the only ones who hadn't started. I asked him if he wanted to go to the library to work on our project over the weekend and he agreed. We spent the day working on our reports, getting to know each other, talking about music, and the awkward moment we were eating lunch and I decided to tell him all my boyfriend troubles. If I remember right, I rambled on for 30 minutes telling him about the on and off again relationship that was a total disaster. Bj's only comment after my embarrassing spill of personal information was, "Yeah, you should just break up with him."
Junior Year of College
My Junior year of college our friendship really blossomed. By blossomed, I mean there were even more awkward conversations where I layed out all my relationship woes to a patient BJ, who always responded with support and the same, "yeah, you should just break up with him."
We mostly talked at school but on occasion I would go and watch him perform at a Hookah Lounge with his band. There was this one awkward time, my friend Abby went with me. She was watching me watch him perform and she said, "You and Bj should just be together! Your perfect for each other! I know you're going to marry him." I don't remember my response but I assume it was a "That's weird, not true" or an eye roll. At the time BJ was dating Miss. Missouri, literally, she won the Miss Missouri pageant and later competed for Miss America. Once I saw her and the two of them together, any thought I had of BJ romantically was out the window. Not only was this girl beautiful, but she was so nice (ugh, the worst right?!). You couldn't help but like her. From that moment on BJ was "friend-zoned" in my mind.
BJ and I become better friends and hung out outside of school in group settings. I even would drive across campus to pick him up so he would have to walk so far to our choir class. Nothing too awkward, until this incident:
I needed a ride home from hanging out with friends one night, and for some reason I called BJ. He, of course, came and from there it was one awkward incident after another. First, I couldn't get in his Jeep (short people problems) so he had to hoist me up which was weird...I had never even hugged him. Second, when we got to my apartment I didn't want him to feel like he had been used for a ride so I asked if he wanted to come inside and hang out with me and my roommate. All he said was, "No." Lastly (and the most awkward part), I decided to hug him before I got out of the car. Car hugs are awkward as is, but this one was even more awkward because we bumped heads, really hard. Embarrassed, I rushed inside assuming he would never talk to me again because I was so weird. But, as it turns out he did, and we became better friends.
My Last Year of College
By this time we were really good friends. We talked regularly, always sat by each other in class, and spent a lot of time laughing together. I should point out by this time in our story Bj and Miss. Missouri had broken up, and I still had the same off and on disastrous relationship with the guy from my sophomore year. Our relationship was of course, still plagued with awkwardness. Here are some of the highlights.
1. Bj came to my 23rd birthday dinner where he, in front of my boyfriend, gave me a gift certificate to the movies so we could go see something together. AWKWARD
2. This same birthday bash, we went to a piano bar. He payed the piano performers $100 to play me the song "My Brown Eyed Girl." My boyfriend was not amused, and BJ spent the rest of the night as an onlooker to me fighting with my boyfriend because he was so mad. AWKWARD
3. Several times we would be out somewhere and he would say something nice to me, but like, really close to my face. I distinctly remember thinking, "Is he going to kiss me? Why is he so close to my face? Maybe he can't hear me? I should talk louder..." AWKWARD
4. Finally, the most awkward moment: He wrote me a song called "Easy" Take a listen, the story will make more sense after you hear the song.
He wrote this, what is clearly a love song, for me while we were still friends and I had a boyfriend. He played it for me at his house one night and I think all I said was, "Cool! Thanks!"
It wasn't all awkward moments, though. It was full of wonderful things, too.
The first time he kissed me: We were walking into a choir rehearsal at a church, I was telling him something bad about my day (I assume it was boyfriend related) He side-hugged me, kissed me on the side of the head and told me to cheer up that everything would be fine. I can still remember it clear as day, even the way it made me feel.
We went on a choir field trip. I had an upset stomach and he walked to the convenience store to get me some tums and some mints. He was always doing little considerate things like that for me. Unfortunately, this wonderful memory turned awkward when a bunch of us were hanging out after this and I turned to say something to him and I accidentally touched his armpit and he was wearing a tank-top. I got a full handful of armpit hair. AWKWARD.
All of these sweet/awkward moments leading up to one moment.
I had finally had enough of this on/off again boyfriend. I was done and I was telling BJ all the usual things people say during a break-up, including something along the lines of, "I don't deserve to be treated this way." His response is something I will never forget: "You know, I would never treat you that way Mallory. I've cared about you for so long." Something clicked with me. I can remember feeling stunned and I couldn't find any words to say. This guy I had friend-zoned for so long, I saw him in a completely different light.
The rest is history. We started dating and we never looked back. Within a year and a half we were engaged and 8 months later married.
It's not the fairytale story you see in movies, but it's our fairytale and I love every part of it.
Cheers to Love!